Today we begin a thirteen-week study on the most important characteristic God expects from His servants…love. Love for Him and love for our neighbors…love for our brethren…love for our enemies.

This subject is extremely important in God’s view, and it is one of the most difficult to live out in our daily lives. Yet the fact it is difficult does not diminish its importance one iota. If all people the world over embraced our subject, this world would be a much safer and more peaceful place for human beings to exist. Just think about all the strife in the world and what solution would stop each and every one.

The Bible is a book on relationships…vertical and horizontal. The primary subject from Genesis through to Revelation is love…it is a thread that weaves throughout scripture tying all of life into a manageable set of circumstances.

When Jesus was asked what was the greatest command, He did not hesitate in stating “love God with all you heart and soul and mind”. Then he quickly added “and the second is like it…love your neighbor as yourself”. Matthew 22:36-40. Now if these are the two greatest commands, what are we doing to meet them, to live by them, to allow this command to be our guide in developing and sustaining a relationship with God and, secondly, with our fellow man? This is one of those ‘peg’ scriptures…you know the type…I better put a peg down right here because this is important, this is where I need to hang my hat, or build my life on.

Love is at the very heart of Jesus’ teaching. If Christians are ever supposed to be anything, they are to be loving. This is the very nature of God. A church, which lacks love, needs to be called back to its basic nature and purpose. This is what Paul observed at Corinth and he didn’t mince words in defining their shortcomings and the solution to correct it.

The New Testament was written in Koine Greek. The word Koine denotes “common”, because this style of Greek was the language of the common man-on-the-street during the time of Christ.

Koine Greek came into vogue about 300 years before the birth of Jesus, and it became an obsolete language about three centuries after the Lord’s death, resurrection and ascension into heaven. It was the most precise instrument for the conveyance of human thought that the world has ever known. Without doubt, this language was providentially employed by God in giving the world the New Testament revelation of His Son.

Koine Greek had several words representing different aspects of love.

Eros generally had to do with sexual love. From this term derives the English word “erotic”. This word, however, is never found in the New Testament.
Then there was the noun storge. This term was primarily used to describe family affection. Paul used a negative form of it in describing the base traits of certain pagans of his day. He spoke of those who were “without natural affection” (astorge…Romans 1:31).
A very common word for love during the apostolic age was philia. It is the word for genuine affection…heart love. It is seen in the name, Philadelphia (brotherly love). Jesus had this kind of love for his closest disciple, John (John 20:2), and for Lazarus (John 11:3).
The noblest form of love, however, was agape. William Barclay noted that “Agape has to do with the mind; it is not simply an emotion which rises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we deliberately live”. In other words, a ‘code of conduct’ which governs the way we deal with everyone. It is the kind of love we must have for all men…even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). The Christian must always act out of agape love, i.e., in the best interest of his fellow human beings…in other words, we make up our minds to seek the best for others so when feelings come and go, this love remains because it is a mental decision.

Unquestionably, the most exhaustive treatment of what this kind of love involves is found in I Corinthians 13. Within this context, the inspired apostle gives more than a dozen descriptives, which define the operation of agape love. And what a challenge they are. To study them carefully is to come to the rude awakening of how far we fall short of measuring up to the divine ideal of concern for others.

Read I Corinthians 13.

Now what is the context for these words of wisdom for us today? By imposition of apostolic hands, some members of the church in Corinth had been given supernatural gifts (e.g., the gift of healing, speaking in a foreign language, translating a foreign language, etc.) See Acts 8:18 and I Cor. 12:8-11. Now some of these gift-holders were abusing their spiritual privileges…exercising the gifts as an end within them selves and not out of regard for the family in the Lord. Example: sometimes there would be multiple verbal presentations simultaneously, creating a climate of confusion…hardly conducive to learning.

In addition, Paul noted that the time was coming when these gifts would be removed from the church’s possession. When the revelatory process was completed, that is the finished product of the New Testament, these gifts would cease (I Cor. 13:8). Our discussions over the next quarter will contrast abiding love with the temporal character of miraculous gifts…how God knows what leads man to be the outflow of His essence…not miraculous power but service through seeking ways to help others.

We will be focusing in verses 4-7 in our study. Today lets take a look at the first three verses of this chapter, which set the stage for a more complete understanding of this love concept.

Why was it necessary for Paul to write such a lengthy and specific discourse on the subject of love? Early Christians had the same problems we face today…gossip, divisive subjects that are human generated, unwilling to hear the other person, to accept them as they are, to avoid judging each other, etc. Paul addressed these troubles head on with the power of God’s love. He shows us that every problem can be worked out if we love each other. And we have to remember that Paul was an inspired man. But we must first understand what love is and we must make it a part of our lives.

Paul was not introducing a new way of life for the Jews had been instructed to love God and their fellow man from the beginning…Deut 6:4, Lev. 19:18.

So, how do we love God? We are not loving Him if we try to manufacture holy feelings and call them love. Basically, we love God by revolutionizing our priorities. That means nothing be more important than seeking God’s Kingdom. We must constantly try to put God in the very center of our hearts and let everything else revolve around the center.

Now, let’s re-read the first 3 verses of this chapter and pay close attention to what Paul is saying. Pretty radical isn’t it? We could have all or some of these special talents he describes but exercised without love and we are spiritual zeros. Shocking isn’t it? But when we get down to the bare facts it dawns on us that this “love business is important.”

Just think how Paul would have written this message to us today where we place some people at levels of high importance in the church. A well-known preacher, or highly regarded educator, or well-trained scholar, or influential writer, or famous debator…Paul would say, “Even with all this you are nothing-if you don’t exercise your talent with love”. That would raise some eyebrows for sure!

Now turn that around…some of the potentially greatest Christians are people you don’t know…they just do their thing in the background without fanfare but love is their motivation. Gifts, kind words, visits, sacrifices and caring-love exhibited in so many forms.

How do I practice this kind of love…both for God and my neighbor? Fortunately, God does not ask us to do something impossible, something He want help us to do. We face an ideal, a difficult ideal. We fall short of this ideal but you can know God is pleased with our efforts. But it is more important to know that God will transform us into loving people if we will let Him. To be loving is not a goal we achieve by ourselves. Divine power leads and molds us into the very nature of God…loving. We reach out and claim God’s strength and He gives it. (Rom. 5:5) He changes our attitudes and actions.

So, a lot of prayer is in order. God plans for us to have victorious growth within ourselves and in our relationships with each other. The future for people surrendered to God is bright.

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 2 - Patients)

Tonight we begin looking into the characteristics of Agape love…what this special love is all about. Last week we opened this study by defining Agape love as “seeking what is best for another”, that this type of love is a code of conduct that drives our every action. Paul’s message in I Corinthians 13 was clearly needed at the time of his letter and is equally needed today. I truly believe that if we can get this part of our Christian life closely aligned with God’s will, that all the rest of the Christian life will fall into line.

How do you remember a series of numbers? Look at the display of 10 numbers…now, how do you remember these after a short look?

Most use some type of system…like breaking them down to a phone number…area code, three then four numbers.

When the inspired Apostle Paul determined he needed to address the subject of love with the Corinthians, he decided to give an overview then use a system to drive home what love really is all about by breaking the bigger subject up into small descriptive characteristics.

How many of us have mastered patience? Is this a challenge for us? Paul stated in vs. 1-3 of this great chapter that without love the expression of our talents in any manner still renders us a spiritual zero. This applies to all the attributes we will be looking at over the next 12 weeks. To put it more directly, without the attributes of love being exercised we are nothing…no matter how much faith or knowledge, etc we have. And then he begins describing love with the word PATIENCE. Remember, without patience, in my manifestation of love for others, it profits me nothing!

When a list of attributes or characteristics is given, there is usually some significance put to the order of the listing. Sometimes the most important is listed first to build a base upon…other times the list is given in ascending order of importance. Why do you think Paul starts with patience?

Patience is the ability to control our emotions in difficult situations, to remain calm, to endure hard times. What do we know about the Corinth church at this time? There was division over preachers, lawsuits among Christians, dissension in worship, gossip, temper tantrums, suspicions, choosing sides, bad feelings…all symptoms of people unable to deal with each other. Patience was missing!

The Greek word makrothumei means ‘taking a long time to get hot’. In the New Testament it has to do with how we should respond to abuse or behavior by others that does not fit what we expect or desire. Love patiently waits and attempts to win over one’s adversary. We are dealing with relationships and how we set our feelings to function with people. We are not addressing in animate objects…although it is rather difficult to understand how I can get upset with my dead car battery and not have this type of feeling carryover to become my reaction to a neighbor who crosses me or deals out abuse. Or a brother or sister!

Why is this important? If we are to be Christians then we must be like Christ. He was the perfect example of what love and patience is all about. No other person in history has been rejected more than Jesus. No person in history has ever shown more patience with man than Jesus…willing to leave perfection to become human and show us the way to spend eternity with Him. Since God is love and we are to be like God (or Christ), then we must demonstrate love in our relationships and exhibit it’s characteristics…in this case patience.

God demonstrates patience with us by over looking our stubbornness and offering a plan for redemption. Read II Peter 3:15 “Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him”. Because God is patient with man He gives us repeated opportunities to repent. Romans 2:4…”Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance.” Look at II Peter 3:9 where we read “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” This is love in action…demonstrated by God for us and to us.

Scripture is full of examples for us from the human side also…take Paul, the “chief of sinners’ yet God waited on him to change and redeem him…and what a change he made. James spends a large part of his writings on staying power, the use of patience when things are not going as expected. He talks about the farmer who must wait through the growing season to reap the harvest. Impatient people want their profit “now”.

Look at the prophets, men of courage who had to withstand many difficulties in their declaration of God’s message. There were numerous opportunities for these men to give up in their efforts but God’s grasp on them would not let them.

Elijah…at Horeb (I Kings 19:18), thinking he was standing all alone yet knew there were a few who had not bowed the knee to Baal.

Isaiah…preached over 50 years even though God had informed him that people would resist the message. He didn’t give up…staying power.

Jeremiah…preached about the same length of time as Isaiah and was called the weeping prophet. Timid and sensitive he struggled under the burden of preaching yet he kept at it because the message burned within him and he would not stop.

Ezekiel…Jeremiah’s counterpart faced such hardheaded opposition that God told him his forehead would have to be made harder than those of the people who heard him (3:8&9).

James used these examples of staying power to show how we should have the same inclination with people…that is the ability to lovingly stay the course and win over the adversary.

II Timothy 4:2. Here we see Paul speaking to his protégé to be patient in his convincing, rebuking and exhortation. This was great counsel and Paul reminded Timothy that he had followed this same course in II Timothy 3:10.

We must all remember that God loves people and wants them to change into the model exhibited by Jesus even if that change is slow to happen, can be measured a little at a time and takes a lifetime to happen. God demonstrates enormous patience with us…and it is out of love that He is able to do so.

So, how do we make sure we are developing patience in our agape life?

We must have the right frame of mind…the more we center our thoughts on the patience of God exhibited toward us, the more that knowledge will help us change our lives. We become what we believe and think on daily. When we are able to awake each morning and purposely concentrate on being Christ like in our relationship with others, patience will become a natural function for us.
Place others ahead of ourselves on our personal priority list. When we get stuck on our egos we can become angry or defensive and even take retaliation against others because what is important to me has been violated. The more we learn from Jesus the concept of self-giving, the more patient we will become.
Pray for God’s help…to recognize our faults, our selfishness, our lack of concern for other’s well being. God can do marvelous things in our lives if we will just turn it over to Him or let Him.

Historical event…Lincoln and Edwin Stanton. “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen” Patience had conquered.

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 3 - Kindness)

Over the last two weeks we have begun a study on the subject of agape love described best in I Corinthians 13. Agape love is a decision to seek the best for others. Last week we looked at the first characteristic of this love as described by Paul addressing a troubled congregation at Corinth …patience. Patience is the ability to endure abuse by another without reacting in a negative manner. That abuse may be real or perceived but the reality is how do I handle the situation and what is my motive for the other person.

Tonight we begin a look into the second characteristic given to the subject of agape love…kindness. I Corinthians 13:4 says love is kind. In Proverbs 19:22 Solomon says “that which makes a man to be desired is his kindness”. Solomon, inspired by the Holy Spirit, understands what is important is developing a relationship with another person and that is kindness. Have you ever known anyone who you enjoyed being around or you could call a friend that was unkind? It would take a rare situation for that to happen.

How would you define kindness?

Kindness is ‘goodness in action’. Terms which describe kindness include friendliness, compassion, generosity, and tenderness. To be kind is to be God-like (Luke 6:35). It is God’s kindness that allows Him to continue to invite men to repent (Rom 11:22).

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 4 - Jealousy)

Over the last three weeks we have begun a study on the subject of agape love described best in I Corinthians 13. Agape love is a decision to seek the best for others. We have reviewed two descriptive characteristics of thus agape love…patience and kindness.

Tonight we will begin looking at a serious of negative descriptions that will last for several weeks…love is not jealous or does not envy. The next few weeks are descriptions that are viewed from an antithesis angle…that is love does not have these characteristics.

How do we look at jealousy or envy? Is it something that we allow to exist in our lives even though we know it is wrong? Or maybe allow it to exist to bring balance to our lives?

Jealousy or envy is defined as ‘a feeling of displeasure caused by the prosperity of another, often accompanied by the desire to wrest the advantage away from the person who is the object of one’s envy. Have you ever observed someone receiving an honor or doing something outstanding and thought ‘that is really good’ but deep down inside wished it was you in their place? Or rationalized the situation by giving ‘objective criticism’ like ‘that was ok but…’. We camouflage our jealousy or envy by objective analysis or by ignoring the person who is the object of attention.

Lets take a look at Paul’s comments regarding the church at Corinth in the chapter preceding our study material. It appears Paul is having to define the importance of the various gifts or skills that members of the church possessed…that each held a place of importance in the overall scheme of things or the work of the church. Why do you think his explanation was necessary?

Most likely, it was necessary because some in the church were either bragging about their abilities or others were feeling ‘down’ cause their gifts or skills weren’t up to the level of others. A very likely scenario for bragging and jealousy. We will look at bragging later. Some were probably feeling displeasure at the prosperity of others creating a situation that required direct response by Paul. A very good lesson for us today…address the jealousy displayed by some immediately and don’t allow a cancer to develop.

Lets take a moment to look into this word jealousy…

The original word found in the New Testament could be translated two ways…as a verb or a noun. The word could mean ‘zeal’ which in most cases was a positive attribute or it could be mean ‘jealousy’ which in most cases was bad. Examples of good;

John 2:17-Jesus had zeal for the temple
Romans 10:2-Jews had zeal for God
II Corinthians 7:7-Corinthians had zeal for Paul
Phil. 3:6-Paul was zealous in his persecution of the church
Acts 5:17-Sadducees were filled with jealousy
Acts 13:45-Jews filled with jealousy
Romans 13:13-Jealousy is condemned
I Cor. 3:3-Paul describes the condition of the church as worldly

All these examples show an intense concern, a basic single-minded self-devotion. Now this can be good if the energy is devoted toward God but most of the time it is devotion to self or fervent self-centerdness.

As Christians our lives are to be like who?

Is God a jealous God? Look at I Cor. 11:2-Paul states in the original “I am jealous for you with a jealousy of God”. How can God be jealous yet leave instructions for His creation to not exhibit that trait.

Since jealousy is an intense self-devotion, God, by His very nature is intensely self-devoted. This may sound strange because we are thinking in human terms as if God was human. God’s jealousy is not the peevish, anxious, irritably, capricious thing that human jealousy is. God calls man to Him-to turn their life to Him. This is what man needs, where man is blessed, where man enjoys the love of God. God wants us for Himself while our jealousy produces a path away from Him and focuses on ourselves.

What motivates man’s jealousy? What is the desire in our heart when we are jealous?

We want equal or more than someone else
We want them to have less than we have.

Advertisers know this better than we do. They appeal to our base desires…

why shouldn’t we have more than others, or better. We are a competitive society and jealousy is a natural byproduct when there are winners and losers. How often do you see a mean spirit exhibited when someone is advanced in your work environment ahead of his/her peers? Or you see someone gloat when a good Christian turns out to have feet of clay? Jealousy is a serious disease that will destroy rather than build up as it is a heart problem that is opposed to what agape love is all about…seeking what is best for another.

So, what can we do the counter-act the base desires of a jealous heart?

We must realize that everything other’s have is a gift from God. We must accept what God has made of others and remember that He is sovereign. He has blessed them for a reason that we may never understand.
We must realize that we have all we need in Christ. Why should I covet physical things when I have a marvelous relationship with our creator and savior…a far more valuable possession than anything this world has to offer.
We must consider, as Christians, all that has been given for us and to us. We are called to give ourselves for others…to serve. The more I give and love, as the Lord did, the more I am free of the mentality that leads to a jealous heart. Generous service is the antidote to jealousy.
We must look to God for help through prayer asking for His guidance. Turn our lives over to Him and our heart will be tuned to rejoice in spite of other’s success…a true manifestation of agape love. Again, we must remember that God will not ask of us anything we cannot do with His help. If we truly want to demonstrate agape love without the jealousy that is such a common trait of our human lives, we must depend on God for help.

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 5 - Boasting)

How do we define agape love?

What characteristics have we discussed so far? (patience, kindness jealousy) Has anyone of these been of significant value or you found to be a problem in your life?

How do you feel when you are in the presence of a braggart? Why does this bother you?

Braggarts are attempting to draw attention to themselves through words or deeds that over emphasize their worth.

Proverbs 27:1-3

James 3:4-6

Scripture is full of guidance regarding how we should control our tongue. Are there examples of boasting in scripture and the consequences?

Matthew 6:1-6…what is Matthew warning against? Don’t try to do things to be seen of men. God knows the heart…if love is not the motivation it profits us how?

Acts 5:1-11...what is the basis of this example? The two conspired to hold back a part of the selling price but wanted praise for their generosity…

Impress but with greed. Their deaths were their reward.

Luke 18:9-14…the Pharisee not only bragged but attempted to boost his own ego by downing those around him…push my head higher by pushing the heads of those around me down. Boasting is bad enough by itself, but its corruptness is multiplied when it leads to greater wrongs.

Now recall chapter 12 and Paul’s comments on the Spiritual gifts problem(s) within the Corinth church. In verse 21 we can see the pride exhibited by some having the ‘better’ gifts and the logic would lead us to believe that boasting was taking place. Why else would Paul have to address the blending of gifts to make the whole and that one without the other doesn’t work.

What about today? Do we have boasters today?

Boasting usually highlights what I have done…is there other ways you can boast or observe others boasting? What have you heard lately?

‘Yea, I know he won but it was a fluke’
‘You know, I had an experience like that but in my case things were much worse’
‘I told them that was the wrong thing to do, now they are having all kinds of problems’
‘Let me tell you about the business deal I swung’
“God has blessed us greater than you, we are the best church in the community’
‘I don’t see why they are being recognized any more than us’
I was on the elevator with Tommy Tuberville’
‘I’m a member at the Tuscaloosa Country Club, you know, the one where Mike Shula plays’

In every case, I either have to top whatever you have done or be associated with people that make me look important.

Have you ever heard someone say ‘it ain’t boasting and it ain’t bad if it is the truth’? Relating what has happened isn’t bad in and of itself…you have to understand the motivation behind the statement. It is wrong if the motivation is self centeredness. Two people can tell the same event…one will be accepted while the other is rejected due to the motivation of the individuals…one is for informational purposes while the other is for self promotion.

Why is boasting so prevalent?

We boast to protect our wounded pride. This helps compensate for our failures. When we fail we think it shows we are incompetent. To cover the hurt we put up a bluff or show to divert attention away from the lack of performance to something we feel shows high competence.
Our boasting covers in adequacies in our lives…either in word or in actions. Bullies on the playground or even in the work place are classic examples of ones who doubt their abilities and they resort to force or intimidation to overcome their feelings.
We boast to conceal fear. Whistling while passing a cemetery is a form of boasting showing we are not afraid when in fact we want to run as fast as we can. People don’t want to show their fears so they make their boldest assertions of superiority at times of greatest anxiety.
Then there are those who actually feel they are superior. Rather than hold their feeling, they must blow their own horn and slap themselves on the back.

Boasting is a deep focus on self…self centeredness. The Christian realizes that God comes first, others second and, finally, myself third. Self centeredness draws in and is grasping, Christian love reaches out and is giving. It offers words of encouragement for the lonely and down trodden and assists those who need uplifting. Love notices others for their good. God’s love for us is un-describable and is greater than our love for ourselves. No matter how much we brag, no human recognition will ever compare with the infinite recognition God has given us through His Son. The man or woman whose self-esteem is grounded in the goodness of God has no reason to boast. They understand their personal worth is not based on high-octane performance or stunning appearance but on the value God attached to their life through Christ. Agape love is not boastful because it comprehends God’s grace as it works to transform us into people of value.

When we put everything into perspective, God has provided us with the best possible situation so there is no need to be braggers…we need to become sharers. We have what we need, more than anyone else who has not looked to Jesus as their savior. So our task is one to share, to help them become possessors of the most valuable gift ever given. When we take the focus off of us and put it on others, as a Christian is directed to do, we loose sight of those few material things that have a way of placing us in classes and allows us to see the big picture with Christ at the center reaching out to serve others.

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 6 – Arrogance or Proud)

Over the last four weeks we have looked at characteristics of agape love…

patience, kindness, not jealous, and not boastful. The later two have been from a negative view or something that love is not. When we review and understand these characteristics, a major challenge is before all of us to live a life that God, through His Spirit, left as a guide for us.

Tonight we look at arrogance or pride or puffed up as the various versions of scripture report it. Love is not puffed up or proud.

How would you define arrogance? (An inflated opinion of one’s importance). Can you picture a big old cream puff, a pastry just pumped full of that filling where the whole thing is about to explode? Or maybe you can picture a bellows where the pumping on the handles produces short but powerful burst of air…usually to increase the oxygen flowing into a fire to increase the temperature? Inflated or caused to swell.

Do you have the privilege to work with or know someone that exhibits these types of traits? How do these people make you feel? Do you enjoy being around them? Why?

Several things happen when arrogance or pride enters a persons life:

There is unreasonable self esteem
Insolence
Rudeness (rude treatment of others)

Lets take a quick look at what scripture has to say about pride in our lives:

Jeremiah 49:16-Decieves the heart
Daniel 5:20 -Hardens the mind
Proverbs 16:18-results in destruction

Arrogance is the opposite of humility. Humility is defined as unpretentious, modest, unassuming, in other words not drawing attention to self.

Why does arrogance exist? It is the result of thinking about my dignity and what I am and have achieved in this world (with no recognition of what God has done to bless me). It follows a similar pattern to boasting we discussed last week…where self-centeredness takes our focus away from others and makes our lives the hub around which the world rotates.

Lets take a look at Gal. 6: 1-5. What does Paul say about pride? Is pride wrong? Obviously, it is not or he would not have stated that we should take pride in ourselves. But what is the context? Don’t compare yourself with others…when looking at his own actions based on his abilities. It is a ‘results’ accountability.

Now turn to I John 2:16. We have referred to these as the three root causes of sin…lust of the flesh, lust of the eye and the pride of life. Pride and arrogance are bad characters and do not have a place in the Christians lifestyle.

How would you describe Jesus’ life? One of humility, caring and service to others (agape love)…certainly not arrogance or unconcern for people. In Phil 2:5-8, Paul describes Jesus very nature and includes humbleness in that description. He left equality with the father to become sin in His death on the cross. You cannot serve others from above, looking down on inferiors. It just doesn’t work that way no matter how much we deceive ourselves into thinking we can.

So how should our lives be described? No one in Christ should be puffed up over another. Lowliness is the key to discipleship. In fact, the higher one gets, the lower one must descend. It’s a paradox…”the greatest shall be the least and the least the greatest”. The highest of all became the lowest of all.

So what causes this lack of humility or arrogance in us?

Wealth. I posses more than you therefore I am better than you. And don’t forget our advertising friends who feed on this chink in our Christian armor…how do most advertisements appeal to us-through our vanity or our desires to be “one up on the Joneses”.
Our feelings of being a superior Christian. I have been a Christian far longer than you. We cannot discuss the bible from the same view point or intellect. You are just and infant in learning God’s will.
Intelligence. I am just flat out smarter than you and can out think you on any subject. Do you ever get a sense that academia or scholars speak frequently with such an air of authority/knowledge or superiority that you don’t dare challenge their thinking…they know more than you.
Racial. I am of a certain skin color so I am superior to you of a different color.
Convictions. I know I am right and that makes me better than you and closer to God. We, in the church, are noted by other religious bodies as having stated “we are the only ones going to heaven because we are the only ones that have the right interpretation of God’s directions” We must be right with God but humble in that attitude when discussing His will with others.

There are many other possibilities that lead to arrogance or pride in our lives but each is as wrong as these few examples we have discussed. So our objective is to counteract this bad human trait and we can use the following:

We must realize how unimportant we are in the big picture…that we are one of many that God loves. (Review the Hubble telescope event with 800 million year old light)
Read Matthew 5:1-3. The first Beattitude “poor in spirit”-not void of spirit but the realization that we are nothing without God and His blessings.
We must desire a heart and spirit where we truly regard others just like Jesus did. God can help us if we want Him too, but He will not force us…we must want this humble spirit.

During the first few classes it was noted that we are talking about values that effect relationships…especially the horizontal ones. Arrogance takes us out of the position to relate to others. Discussions involve a give and take and the arrogant person cannot really discuss. Agape love by its nature is always seeking what is best for the other person. My attitude of superiority certainly cannot come across as a spirit of helping the other person. Even if I do help (for whatever the reason), it does not help me as activity by me, without love at heart, gains me nothing.

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 7 - Rudeness)

Tonight we reach the half way point in our study of the subject of agape love. I trust this has been a meaningful study to this point. As I have mentioned on numerous occasions, I believe this is the foundation of the Christian life and, once we get it and it becomes our guide for living, the remainder of what God expects of his children just falls into place.

We have discussed the following characteristics of agape love as described by the inspired writer Paul:

Patience-the ability to endure abuse weather real or perceived and not react negatively
Kindness-goodness in action and expecting nothing in return
Not Jealous-not having a feeling of displeasure at the prosperity of another.
Not boasting-not attempting to draw attention to ourself through word or actions that overemphasize our worth
Not proud or arrogant or puffed up-not exhibiting an inflated opinion of one’s importance or un-reasonable self-esteem.

These descriptions make up the entity we call agape love or the seeking of what is best for another.

Tonight we look at another characteristic from a negative or love ‘is not’ behavior.

Have you ever been in a restaurant and observed a customer or wait person acting in an uncivil manner to the other?
Have you ever observed a young person treating an older adult in a disrespectful way (or vice versa)?
Have you ever cut off someone in a conversation because you didn’t like or want to hear what they had to say? No?

Well, how did you handle that 6:30 PM telemarketer’s call right in the middle of supper?

What are we talking about? Rude behavior or behaving unseemly. The Greek word aschemoneo has two meanings…”to behave disgracefully, dishonestly or indecently” and the other is “to feel that one ought to be ashamed”. The first indicates what we do, and the second indicates how we should react to what we have done. Rude behavior is also described as ‘without form’.

Can you ever imagine a way you can be practicing agape love and be rude?

Lets take a moment and hear from you on observations you have made of rude behavior. Driving, parking, pollution, dumping liter, wasting energy, sleeping is our assembly, nagging, disturbing others in service (giggling, talking, passing notes), dress, language, forcing my bible translation, progressive vs. conservative ideas (traditions), etc.

Since agape love involves me and another person, we are talking about relationships. Agape love will not cause offense or shame to another person…it will not humiliate, belittle or be inconsiderate since all these actions cause shame in our fellow man. Agape love does not deliberately seek to be offensive, abrasive or disrespectful of others.

In scripture there are several examples of rudeness and it’s impact on others:

I Corinthians 8: 4-13. Paul discusses ‘food offered to idols’. Paul states that this meat is OK because idols have no real existence. But all people don’t know this. Food is morally neutral, but some people, by eating this type meat, might damage their faith. The Christian who insisted on his own rights to eat, at the expense of another’s relation to the Lord, would defeat the purpose of the cross. So Paul vowed to avoid eating meat if it caused a brother to fall. Rudeness is the antithesis of the gospel…the former builds barricades while the latter destroys them. Any act that blocks a brother’s growth is rude!

Have you heard the argument ‘do we allow the weakest person in a group of Christians dictate or determine what we say or do’?

To a degree I think the answer is yes if that response does not violate scripture…where God has allowed us to use discretionary judgment. If The question is something I can do in private without harming a brother’s faith, then I have the liberty to do so without fanfare (respecting the brother’s views). I would not want to force my judgment on others.

There is a watch out, however. We must be careful that we don’t allow a brother to become an ‘insisting self’ who wants to dictate what we do…there are very conservative brethren who want to bind rules and regulations that scripture does not enforce…likewise, there are those who want to push the envelope and always be trying new things believing that change keeps us from becoming stale. Both of these are folks looking inward for satisfaction instead of looking to God for direction to their lives (and all those they are attempting to influence).

In I Corinthians 10: 23-33 Paul again addresses eating of meats but this time meat sold in a market. Such food can be eaten without questions of conscience. But if someone wished to abstain because that meat came from a pagan sacrifice, Paul called on his brethren to respect that person’s decision.

Romans 14:15-23 Paul writes to the Roman church nothing should be done to injure a brother, that all things would be for peace and mutual up-building and that nothing be done which would make someone fall or stumble.

In Acts 21 we see a good example of how to respond to others when anger and frustration would be our normal behavior. Paul has returned from his third missionary journey and is faced with false accusations on his teachings. He could have rejected the accusations but he chose to listen, The elders advise him to do some things for purification. He does these even though the procedures were not effective or necessary so that he could use the time to teach. He practiced agape love by seeking what was best for others rather than becoming rude and gaining a momentary sense of satisfaction. He was sensitive to their needs, did not sacrifice any moral points and did what he could to promote church unity.

How do we avoid rude behavior? We don’t overcome rude behavior by keeping rules. We overcome rudeness by becoming considerate and caring. Common courtesy and good manners…our vocabulary should include please, thank you, no-you first, may I help you. Our actions should include helping with doors, not crowding into line, offering our chair, treating our elderly with respect, etc. Being thoughtful toward others. The terms ‘gentleman’ and ‘lady’ should reach there zenith in the context of Christianity.

As we close, we must remember that we must be sensitive and consider others thoughts and feelings if we are to practice and live a life of agape love. We cannot shame others by our behavior. It is not always easy to maintain a Christian life style as we swim with sharks each day but God will help us. His strength is made greater in our weakness that is recognized by us. If we carry our short comings to Him our attitudes and whole life can be changed by His power to be more like Christ.

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 8 – Selfishness – Seeks not her own)

As we start the second half of this study, we have looked at two positive characteristics and four negative characteristics of agape love as described by Paul in I Corinthians 13:4-7.

Patience-the ability to endure abuse whether real or perceived and not react negatively
Kindness-goodness in action and expecting nothing in return
Not Jealous-not having a feeling of displeasure at the prosperity of another.
Not boasting-not attempting to draw attention to ourself through word or actions that overemphasize our worth
Not proud or arrogant or puffed up-not exhibiting an inflated opinion of one’s importance or un-reasonable self-esteem.
Not rude-not behave in a manner to bring shame on another.

These descriptions are a part of the entity we call agape love-the seeking of what is best for another (resulting in action on my part). Can we see how these negative characteristics, described by Paul, cannot be present in our lives if we truly are practicing agape love? We can fool ourselves into being “kinda in the mold” some of the time but our goal is to be practicing agape love all the time.

Tonight we look into the subject of selfishness. This may be the one characteristic we all have in more abundance than we would like to admit. Selfishness or insisting self is defined as ‘intent upon personal advantage; greedy at the expense of others’. It means we are pursuing our own interest and having little, if any, regard for others. I cannot think of any characteristic that is so opposite of what God wants of us.

Every quality we have examined, positive or negative, relates to whether we first seek our own way, or first seek to serve God or others. “Love does not insist in its own way” could be a heading with the others being subheadings explaining various parts of it.

Selfishness then can be viewed as the base or besetting sin for all of humanity. If this characteristic (selfishness) could be solved, all of the world and society would miraculously improve.

How does the mind of man work? What is our motivation for acquiring money or material things? What do we want? How do we plan to use a higher salary, an expensive car, a work of art, or a fine home? How much human suffering have we caused over selfishness for more things? How much crime is caused by greed? How many people have compromised their values because of greed? Considering what we have considered briefly tonight, what do you think of the philosophy which says a product or service should be sold for the highest price the market will bear? Isn’t that what we commonly call the ‘supply and demand’ principle that drives our economy?

Share ideas on competing churches in a community…where the interest is in keeping our members vs. working to God’s glory.

Our culture stresses the importance of climbing the ladder, whether socially or in business, politics and education. But this forces us to be focused on ourselves considering their own importance and progress. The ‘climber’ sometimes hurts others in the process. How can a person who is determined to ‘get ahead’ at any cost relate to others out of love…putting their best interest ahead of ours as agape love calls for?

Is any interest in self wrong then? No! God has built us with a need for self interest which is healthy. Selfishness goes way beyond self interest to make me the center of the universe, to put self ahead of all else. Self interest says I need sleep. However, a friend is having a marriage crisis. What do I do? Sleep and satisfy self or go help my friend and, maybe, loose a nights sleep attempting to do what is best for them. To insists on sleep would be selfish. However, the time may come when I have lost so much sleep that I am close to collapsing. In that case, if I force myself to stay awake it will do neither him or myself any good. So I get my sleep. Then after resting, I can come back and help him in a better way.

Consider Jesus. His self interest led him to pray that the cup might be taken away. The impending separation from His Father, as He took on the sins of the world, was horrible for him to bear. Yet when it became clear He could only do God’s will by drinking it and fulfilling the great plan of salvation, he did not become selfish and insist on his way. He gave up his self-interest for the greater good…the cross and the salvation of man.

As we have discussed before, here are two types of people in the world:

those that think about their rights
those that think about their responsibilities

…but the greatest of these is love! (Lesson 9 – Anger – Not easily provoked)

We have completed 7 of the unique characteristics that define what makes up agape love and how they impact the Christian’s life. Paul described these characteristics in I Corinthians 13 with emphasis on verses 4-7.

We have defined agape love as ‘an active decision we make to seek what is best for others’. In the course of this study we have covered:

Patience

Kindness

Jealousy (envy)

Boasting

Pride (arrogance)

Rudeness

Selfishness

Tonight we take a look at a characteristic that is very prevalent in our society and in the Christians life because we associate with the world…it becomes an accepted trait because of the nature of the world we live in. We are speaking of anger or not easily provoked.

The Greek word used by Paul is paroxysm meaning ‘a sudden violent action or emotion’. Paul is literally telling us not to explode. Agape love does not have a short fuse, it does not stroll about with a chip on its shoulder ready to go off when someone or something crosses its path. Looking for a fight!

There are three other N.T. passages that use this same word for ‘explosion’ and it can be either good or bad depending on the circumstances.

Acts 17:16 Paul is provoked or greatly distressed by observing idols so prevalent in the city of Athens . He is driven to preach daily in the market place.
Hebrews 10:24 The writer gives another message on how to stir up one another to love and good works-over come lethargy, find ways to jolt each other, consider what can be done to promote zeal…promote paroxysm.
Acts 15:37-41 Here we see a contention between Paul and Barnabas on the qualifications of John Mark as a missionary. It wasn’t just an academic discussion…there was considerable passion. These two literally exploded at each other and resulted in them going their separate ways.

So there can be good and bad paroxsms. We need to learn how to meet the love guidelines by not allowing ‘bad’ explosions disrupt our relationships.

Is anger always bad? Ephesians 4:26-27. ‘In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry’. Anger in the right place can be a great virtue. Several weeks ago, the incident of Jesus cleansing the temple was brought up by a class member regarding our study of rude behavior. I probably ‘babbled’ a few words to slide by and moved on to something else, but it is clear that Jesus experienced a powerful anger in response to a violation of the Father’s will. This example demonstrates that an ‘anger explosion’ under the right circumstances is OK…to uphold truth, protect human character, oppose evil, defend an important principle.

Note that we are addressing issues that effect relationships. Since love concerns people, Paul is considering irritations that occur in human relations. I may become irritated at my alarm clock when it fails to go off (doesn’t ring) or the plane is late or the battery dies in the car. I haven’t effected anyone e